The Healing That Set Me Free -

And Can Do the Same for You

For years, I was stuck in fear - afraid of commitment yet longing for deep connection. I would either push love away or find myself in relationships where I felt unseen, unheard, and disconnected. No matter how much I tried to change, the same painful cycles kept repeating.

Looking back, I now understand why.

I grew up as an immigrant, moving from Kazakhstan to the Netherlands with my mother at the age of four. We arrived with no family, no support, and no stability. My mother, raised with her non-Western values, carried her own unprocessed pain and survival mindset, which shaped how I saw the world as well. Emotions weren’t something to be felt—they were something to be suppressed. I learned to be strong, to endure, to survive.

But that survival mode became my prison.

As I grew older, I struggled with my sensitivity, never quite understanding why I felt so much yet couldn’t express it. My body carried years of unprocessed grief, fear, and loneliness. This had big impact on many areas of my life. And in relationships, this unresolved pain played out again and again—making it impossible to truly connect, trust, or feel safe in love.

No matter how much I tried to “fix” myself through mindset work and self-improvement, something was missing. I was trying to think my way out of a problem that was rooted in my body.

For years, I followed the path that seemed logical and "right"—going to university, studying dentistry, and pursuing what I once believed would make me "worthy." But deep down, I knew something was off. I tried to ignore that feeling, pushing it away for years, until I could no longer deny the truth. I made the difficult decision to walk away, even without a clear plan. Something in me knew there was more—something deeper I was meant to do. That leap into the unknown was terrifying, but it was also the first step toward true alignment and healing.

Love Never Felt Safe - Until I Finally Broke Free

The real transformation began when I turned inward—not just with my mind, but with my breath, body, and emotions.

Meditation taught me to sit with discomfort instead of running from it.

Trauma healing showed me that my nervous system had been wired for survival, and I needed to rewire it for love and safety.
Inner child work helped me reconnect with the younger parts of myself that had been abandoned and ignored.

Plant medicine unlocked an even deeper level of healing, breaking through layers of fear and supporting my transformation on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level. It guided me to profound insights that shifted my entire experience of love and relationships.
Breathwork allowed me to release emotions that had been stuck for years—fear, sadness, anger, grief—finally giving them space to move through me.

It wasn’t an overnight shift. It was a journey of feeling again—of reclaiming the parts of myself that I had buried. And when I did, everything changed.

I stopped overthinking love and started trusting myself.
I stopped running from intimacy and started embracing connection.
I stopped repeating the same old patterns and finally broke free.

And from that place, I attracted deep, loving, committed relationships—ones that reflect the inner healing I’ve done.

This is why I do what I do. Because I know healing is possible. And I know that when you reconnect with yourself, your entire experience of love, relationships and your whole life transform.

With love,

Alina